Imus in the morning on Fox News...
I never usually watch Imus in the morning on Fox News but for almost 5 weeks I watched it with my dad. If we didn't watch Fox then it was cooking channel or discovery but every morning was Imus. I learned that my mom & dad would watch it every morning and then laugh and cuss and discuss whatever they saw. I feel very privileged that they let me be apart of that part of their life. Actually I feel so very blessed that I got to be apart of their life day and night for those unbelievably hard but so precious weeks. I think back to those weeks and feel happiness, sadness, love, laughter, teachable moments, and the feeling that nothing stays the same forever! I've heard that my whole life from mom and dad but it really has new meaning to me now.
So back to Imus...yesterday I had the tv on the news (mainstream media). I haven't been able to watch Fox News since my time with my dad. Dad & I would always talk about the news and the way things were going in the world. If I haven't mentioned that I'm just a little conservative when it comes to politics, I should tell you now that I am. I'm sure I got some of those thoughts from dad, as he's pretty conservative as well. (I realize that I talk about dad in the present tense but it just feels wrong to use past tense right now. It'll probably feel wrong for the rest of my life!) I really enjoyed our times of talking about the news on Fox or talk radio. I didn't realize how much time I spent talking with dad about all this until now! He's not here to talk to! It still doesn't seem real and I keep thinking that I'm going to wake up from this long bad dream, but I don't because this is reality. I'm learning that reality really sucks at times. I'd had all I could take of the mainstream media so I thought I'll just turn it over to Fox News. It was comforting in one regard and brought tears to my eyes in another. I just wanted my dad. I want to talk to him, hear his voice, feel his comforting presence, I want my dad!
After last weeks school shooting I've never wanted to talk to my dad more. When things seem crazy it's always comforting to talk to or be around your parents, at least for me anyway. So as I watched all the mainstream media I could handle and I turned it over to Fox News I began to realize that my dad is really gone and that he's not coming back. I wanted to talk to him so bad but as I watched the news I began to understand so many things that my dad had taught me. Now I understand so much more. It's like the light bulb came on and I gained a little bit of peace and understanding. Yes I miss my dad terribly and want him back everyday but it's nothing to what the parents of the children from the school shooting are feeling. As a parent my heart aches for these families and I don't have the to words to say or write, except I'm sorry. Children left this world all too early for reasons only God knows. As I realize all of this I count my many blessings and am so thankful for the time I've had with my dad. It's so important to embrace today and make the most of everyday because we aren't guaranteed tomorrow. I think it's in the book of Matthew that says something about don't worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself.
As time goes on and I grow a little more each day, I hope to be half as great a parent as my parents have been to me. I'm thankful everyday and I will make the most of everyday...the good, the bad and everything in between! I will KEEP ON KEEPIN' ON! Thank you mom and dad!
Trinity
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