Victim...I think NOT!

     What does victim mean?  According to the Webster's 1828 American Dictionary of the English Language victim means a living being sacrificed to some deity, or in the performance of a religious rite; usually, some beast slain in sacrifice: but human beings have been slain by some nations, for the purpose of appeasing to the wrath or conciliating the favor of some deity.  Something destroyed; something sacrificed in the pursuit of an object.

     I wrote in my last blog that I refuse to be a victim or let this (my dad dying) define me.  By that I mean that I will make the best of this situation and find the positive and focus on it.  That is one of the many things that my dad taught me...POSITIVE ATTITUDE!  He always said that the difference between a great ordeal or a great adventure is attitude.  Sometimes when I think about my dad and his life, I'm amazed at how he kept his positive attitude.  He was hurt in an oilfield accident when I was about 4 years old.  After his accident the doctors told him he'd never walk again.  He wasn't even 30 years old and was super active.  He didn't let that stop him, if anything he had the attitude of I'll show you!  I don't remember much of him not being able to walk or having to use a cane.  I remember that he always had pain in his legs, always.  But the amazing thing is that he never complained or let that keep him from doing the things he wanted to do.  Sometimes I would watch him and just think how could I even complain about anything, all of my body works perfectly fine.  It might have taken dad 2 or 3 times as long to do something but he just did it and never complained or ever acted like he couldn't do it.  I think watching him taught me that you can do anything you want to, if just have to want to.  No one else can 'want to' for you, only you.  So I say all of this to say that my dad was not a victim and never wanted to be treated like one.  He didn't want anybody's sympathy or anyone to feel bad for him in any way shape or form.  It's only natural that I would feel the same way.

     A few days ago, I was talking with my mom and she mentioned how much she doesn't like being called a widow or how people treat her differently.  I knew exactly what she meant.  People treat you differently and have this aww poor you attitude toward you and it's the worst feeling ever!  I appreciate people showing concern but the whole you poor thing and I feel so bad for you is just the opposite of how my dad taught me to think.  We are not victims to this nor will it define us!  This is all part of life's journey, living and dying.  My dad told me and my mom to keep living and that this is a little blimp in the screen, but do not let this keep you down.  He said, "If you do let this keep you down, then all the work I've done is for nothing...so take some time to heal and lick your wounds, then get up and keep on living and leaving a legacy with the boys.".  So as mom and I are doing this and walking through this, people still act like we are victims.  We are not and will not be victims!  Yes we've had a big life change and this one hurts and hurts big time but we will keep on living.  We will talk about dad and tell stories, look at old pictures, and remember all the good times and the bad times.  Yes I'll shed many tears but my tears will help the healing process, not make me the victim!

     I hope to never treat anyone like a victim and only offer words of encouragement.  Attitude is everything and I will chose a positive one!  I feel like I've been blessed to have had my dad for almost 35 years and had the best relationship I could've ever asked for.  Life passes too quickly not to focus on the positive.  So victim...I think NOT!