Think I Give A Dam!!!

Drawing by Clovis...

This is a drawing my dad did, I'm not sure when he drew it but I know it's at least 20 years old.  It's hanging on the back of a door at his house.  I thought when I was a teenager that it was a cool drawing but didn't get the meaning of it.  You know how you think when you're a teenager, know it all attitude.  I know I thought I knew it all and no one could tell me any different.  I like to think I was like that because my parents gave me my strong willed attitude!  Well, it's been a few years and I totally realize that I don't know it all or even close to knowing it all.  All I know is what I've learned from my past and I hope to utilize all that's been given to me to make my future great.

Back to this picture and what it says...THINK I GIVE A DAM!!!  This pretty much summed up how my dad thought about the little crazy things in life that we let get the best of us.  Now I'm not talking about the important things, I'm talking about the crazy, stupid stuff that we let get to us.  You know like how we think we're mistreated, or how jealous we can be, or how we think we can't have people over to our house because it's not clean enough or not decorated to a T, or how some things seem to come easy to others and not to us, or how others treat us (when we think they were talking behind you back or even to your face, ha!).  These are all so little in the big picture of life.  So what if people were talking about you behind your back and who really cares if your house isn't decorated the best.  My dad never let any of the little stuff get to him, ever.  I love that about him and now I must take that quality on to pass along to my kiddos.

I can't tell you how many times I called my dad, griping about the little things and his response was always the same...he'd say do you have a great husband and kiddos? do you have plenty to eat? (If times were tight with money and I'd say barely, he'd laugh and say you have plenty kid, at least for today!) do you have a comfortable home?  You get the idea, he'd always turn it around in a heartbeat.  He'd also laugh and say can you remember what was bothering you last week at this time?  And of course most of the time I could not recall.  Or he might say yesterday is gone and we don't know if we have tomorrow but right now we have to today...so make the best of it kid!  I always knew he'd talk me through the situation and help me see the light!  Dad never cared about material things, only his family.

This story comes to mind...Gary and I were expecting our first child and we lived in a little 2 bedroom house (that we eventually turned into The Cottage) that had a floor furnace and window units, no fence in the back yard and not really the best neighborhood.  I just thought no way can I bring a baby to this home.  Now mind you, my dad had a way of pointing out the brutal truth, I bet people actually grew up in that house and probably more that just a few.  He'd say I wonder how they did it, living like this!  You get his point.  But this is where it gets even better....after I pushed and pushed to get a bigger and better house in a better neighborhood, another lesson was taking place.  So Gary, my most amazing husband ever, worked harder and made sure I got my bigger house.  The one I just had to have or my life was over and ruined forever. (Insert sarcasm here)  So we are getting ready to move and I just can't bear the thought of moving in, to a house that people were just moving out of, without putting in new carpet and repainting.  Now I have to be honest here, they had just repainted everything and the carpet was in mint condition.  They were just the wrong colors for me, ha ha!  So I began to throw a little bit of a fit, ok maybe more than a little.  Well Gary has always said he's got the best in-laws.  My dad got wind of what I was pushing for and oh my did he ever lay into me.  By the time he got done telling me how piss ignorant I was being, we moved in just the way it was.  I was frustrated but oh so quickly did I see my dad's point.  Our first baby boy, Garrin, arrived after we moved in and my life lessons were just the beginning on what really matters.  So after Garrin was about 1, you know how messy babies/toddlers can be, dad would ask me at the most inopportune time, how'd you like to have that fancy carpet or new paint job now Trin?  He didn't just ask me this once, he asked me over and over and over.  Then he'd remind me later when we moved to our next house.  He never let me forget.  And oh I'm so very thankful...I can hear him loud and clear.

So basically he lived....THINK I GIVE A DAM!!!  Well, I'm here to tell you after watching him die over this last month I have a new perspective.  If you think I didn't give a dam before, I certainly don't give a dam now!!!  Life is too short to sweat the small stuff and I will make all my dashes count.  Once again dad, you're right and I'm so glad you spent the time and energy to make me see the light!  Now it's time for me to pass this along....

I hope others will understand where I'm coming from when I say or do something that makes you stop and think because you can be assured after this journey...I don't give a dam!  And I mean this in a positive way, just as my dad did.  The small stuff is just that small!

Trinity