The Now

THE NOW

The other day someone said they hadn't heard that my dad had passed away and they were sorry to hear about that...it hit me that we only really have this moment right now to make a mark!  I mean really think about it...we aren't guaranteed tomorrow and people come in and out of our lives so we only really have this moment...THE NOW!

My dad used to say, "Stick your hand in a bucket of water, now pull it out.  How big of a hole is left? That's how much people will remember you when you're gone!"  He would tell me this when I had overcommitted myself to way too many things, at the time I'd laugh.  He would tell me this when he was trying to tell me to live in THE NOW!  He would often tell me not to wait...use the good dishes, burn the fancy candles, stay up late, get up early, enjoy the toys strung all over your house...because we are not guaranteed today!  He stressed how important it is to live in this moment (what I refer to as THE NOW!) and not wait to enjoy life.  Sometimes that means finding the joy in the not so joyous!  He told me time and time again that even the worst of times I would look back on and long for some part of them again.  Well of course he was right...how many times have I looked back at those last few weeks with my dad and wish for them back.  Why?  I have no idea why I would ever want to go back to those unbearable days.  Maybe it's the thought of actually seeing and hearing my dad, and getting the best hug ever.  I'm not sure why I long for those days occasionally but I do and then I'm reminded of THE NOW!  

I can't remember what birthday it was (late 20's) but my mom and dad had been to OKC that day, I think to get this certain kind of coffee they made using a french press.  They were always ahead of the times trying different things.  My birthday was a few days away and my dad came in the door of my salon with this box.  My mom came in behind him and said, "Aren't you going to wait till her birthday?"  He was grinning ear to ear and said (in only a way that he could say), "Why, hell no!  I want to give it to her today...I might not be here in a few days!"  I'd laugh and say, "Where are you going?"  He would say something like, "Oh you never know and you know I'm not gonna live forever kid!"  I'd just blow it off with yeah yeah.  I realize now that he was training me constantly to live life without him and preparing me for what we all must ultimately face, death!  Why didn't I understand then?  Oh well, life is all about learning, right?  So I got the (at the time new) digital picture frame...they had just come out and I'd been eyeing one but wouldn't spend the money!  I was so excited and happy.  Now that I have kids of my own I see why he didn't wait...Life is too short and not guaranteed!  My dad lived in THE NOW and I have countless stories to share with my boys from my childhood...which was amazing in my mind! 

Back to the bucket of water...my dad may not have left a hole that others notice but he left a big hole in our family...the bucket of water has been splashed around and now some of it is gone!  I see the importance of THE NOW because that's what will fill that bucket of water back up.  We will all face death but how we live in THE NOW is what makes this life matter to those around us!  So here's to THE NOW!  And of course Keep On Keepin On! 

Trinity