School...

A New Chapter...Homeschooling!

Garrin 6th grade & Ryler 4th grade

The year of 2012 will go down in my book as a year of many changes and the year that I realize just how strong I really am.  With the loss of my dad in May, we decided to homeschool this year for numerous reasons.  I guess I thought if things are going to be different, then why not just make them really different and change things up!  I know with this post that I'll step on somebody's toes but please understand that I'm just trying to do what's best for my children and my family!  With that being said my dad always wanted me to homeschool, always.  He had many reasons for his feelings and I share some, not all of the same reasons.  So with this new adventure, I'm learning just as much as my boys only in many different ways.  I am sure of this, no matter what venue of education you choose there are pros and cons to all.  Trust me, I've been at public school, private christian school, and now homeschool!  I'm just hoping their therapy bills won't be too high when they grow up.  I know I've made mistakes and will continue to make mistakes in my parenting but it won't be because I didn't love them and want to best for them and do the best that I could do for them.

With the loss of my dad, the boys seemed to be a little lost as well.  I felt their pain and wanted nothing more than to make it all better for them.  I know you can't but that doesn't mean that I don't want to.  It's hard enough to grieve the loss of my own father without having to watch my boys mourn the loss of their Papa.  My dad spent almost as much time with the boys as Gary and I did.  He was their main childcare provider until after his heart attack 3 years ago.  I'm thankful for these past 3 years for many reasons even though he was in a tremendous amount of pain.  I believe having this time really helped all of us adjust to him leaving this world, but that doesn't mean that it's easier!  After about a month or so without dad here, the boys and I were still having a hard time.  They're at the age that they can't really show their emotions in public (at school, around their friends, etc) and I really felt that they needed to be able to deal with this as it comes.  I didn't want them to feel like they couldn't express themselves or have the time to walk through this grief.  So Gary and I decided to homeschool.  After all I've always wanted to try it and my dad absolutely wanted me to do it.  So that's how this change began.

I'm a stronger person for all that's happened this last year and I continue to grow.  I really miss my dad here cheering me on in whatever I was doing but also telling me to pull my head out.  He had such a way with words and getting his point across in ways that you'd never forget.  For that I'm thankful!  I'm passionate about my children and their education, thanks to my parents for teaching me this.  I want my boys to grow up to be productive citizens of society (with or without me around), to be independent thinkers, to love to figure things out on their own, hardworking, passionate, walking in their faith, strong and strong willed (yes I'm aware I'll question this trait later!), political, and willing to go after what they want!  With looking at the end picture (meaning by the time they graduate highschool or college) I think about what it'll take to get there.  Yes it'll take a lot of hard work on our part, as well as lots of prayer and I'm willing to do whatever it takes.

I have 4 awesome boys with different personalities to try and navigate through these years to make sure they get the best education for them.  I realize after being at public school, that society tends to push everyone through the same square hole, no matter what their strengths or weaknesses.  I have a problem with that, we are not all the same!  And nor should we want to be.  I also realize after being at the private christian school, that I have 4 boys to think about their future education (college).  Should I put money into their childhood education and not their college or vice versa.  Now with homeschooling I realize there are just a few things missing socially.  I love the flexibility with homeschool and being able to teach them life lessons along the way.  I also love, love, love having them with me all the time.  I know that sounds weird but they're so much fun and full of life and I know it's going by all too fast, I want to embrace all of it.  So with this very brief summary, I'm left to figure this out with Gary and we will and we will do what we think is best for each of our children.  But I sure miss my dad listening to me rant about the same things for days and days and pointing out things in a very different perspective, sometimes in a light that's not pleasing to me!

  I'm thankful that I have options and that I live in a country that allows me these freedoms.  I'm thankful for those who fight for me to have these freedoms.  I'm thankful for the awesome parents that I've been given and the lessons they've taught me.  So life goes on and we will KEEP ON KEEPING ON!  And I'm reminded of my dad telling me so often, "Give 'em hell kid!"

Trinity