Brown Belt...karate

My Brown Belt test back in the day...

Some things in life we think we will never do, well karate is one of them for me.  But as we know about life, never say never!  So here's my story about doing something I never thought I'd do...of course this event has my dad in it.  He was in just about every event and day to day life for 34 years.  I'm continually inspired and amazed by my dad even after his death.

It was after baby #2 and I wanted to do a different kind of workout.  I'm not into running on a treadmill. So after talking with dad, he encouraged me to take karate.  His buddy owned the karate school and so the journey begins.  Now when you stop and think about life, everyone is living their own journey and we can't compare our own with others.  I firmly believe that the adventure in life lies in the journey not the destination...after all what's left after you get to the destination?

I was focused and loved karate from the get go.  Dad would stay with the little ones so I could take class 3 nights a week.  Like I said he encouraged me and made it easy for me to start this journey.  I pushed my body and my mind like I'd never pushed it before but let me just say that fighting rounds brought out the cry baby in me...literally!  I cried, I mean boo hoo cried the entire time I would spar and fight rounds.  I wouldn't stop but the tears would flow, I wasn't hurt but the tears kept flowing.  I couldn't and still can't explain why I'm a crier, but I am.  This picture was taken after my Brown Belt test (fighting ten 2 minute rounds & running a mile & showing forms) and I could and can still feel how proud my dad was of me.  Let me just say that my dad was usually proud of me for the day to day things but this was an unbelievable feeling I felt from him.  He was my corner man and talked me through the entire test and wiped my tears inbetween rounds.  My dear friend and Sensei April was amazing.  Sensei Pollman taught me to be more stoic and to breathe while taking a hit.  Like I said pushed my mind and body like never before and made my dad proud!

Life got busy and boys started school and I put karate on back burner and eventually quit.  I just thought oh well, at least I got my Brown Belt.  Then during my stay with mom & dad during his last weeks, dad told me that I'd finish my Black Belt!  I said, "Oh no, probably not.  I've got 4 boys now and super busy!"  But he was insistent on telling me that I'd finish and I just agreed.  In my mind I was thinking no way could I go back and finish it without him there, no way!  Funny thing about life, never say never!

A few months after dad died, Ryler was beginning to have some major anger about things and I knew I needed to get him focused and his energy channeled, or I was going to fight him everyday!  The first thing that popped into my mind was karate, so I called and enrolled us both.  I thought it'd be good for the both of us.  What started out as a focus to help Ryler has turned out to be my blessing and challenge!  Life sure is funny.  I didn't give much thought to how I'd feel going back to the dojo and probably good thing I hadn't.  The first day all I wanted to do was cry and not because it was killer workout but because my mind was flooded with great memories of my dad!  It's funny the things make your heart throb and knock the wind out of you all at the same time.  I loved thinking about all the memories with my dad but my heart also ached for him to be here.  Then it hits me all over again that he's really gone and not coming back and that makes my whole body hurt.  It hurts for awhile then I smile because I can hear my dad...keep on living kid, keep on living!  When I think about him saying those words to me all I can think about is his strength.  What amazing strength he has/had to be able to be positive and encourage me knowing he was dying and his time left was limited!

I hope I have that kind of strength and give that to my boys.  It's an unbelievable blessing to give everyone that's still left living to encourage them to KEEP ON KEEPIN' ON knowing you won't be here.  Some days I feel like I have all that strength and other days I feel like going back to bed because I don't have anywhere near the strength to make it through the day.  On those days I may cry, scream, or whatever is needed but only for a little while because before too long I can hear my dad telling me to suck it up buttercup!  On the really hard days I can not only hear him but I can feel him...that flick on the back of the arm he used to give me.  It's then that I can get the strength to KEEP ON KEEPIN' ON!

Trinity

Oh yes, I forgot to mention that I'm still taking karate and loving it.  However, this time I'm not as focused on the next belt but more focused on the journey!  It's all about the journey!