Today I went back to acupuncture for the 2nd time since my dad died. It's so bitter sweet. I love to think about all the time we spent going to OKC together and our great conversations! I know everyone thinks their dad is one of a kind but I'm telling you my dad is ONE OF A KIND! I can't even begin to describe or tell all the great life lessons he's taught me and still continues to teach me even without his physical presence. So today was no different, I learned something!
Well I have to back the story up just a little bit. My dad always drove what we call junker vehicles. He didn't believe in borrowing money if he could help it. He believed the less "stuff" the better. Because he told me the more "stuff" you have the more the "stuff " controls you...you have to pay for it, take care of it, etc. I can't say that I've always listened to this advice but I'm trying more and more because I can see how important it is not to let "stuff" control your thoughts and actions! So with that little bit of history you can see where I'm going with the rest of my story.
After dad died, my mom gave my boys his jeep. It needed some work and definitely some new tires. I kept asking dad why he didn't get a new vehicle to drive, after all he had the means to get something better. He'd always say this is fine and I don't need anything. There's a long story about needs vs. wants and I'll write about it soon. Just know that dad felt very strongly about using the word need. So mom cleaned out the jeep and that was a brutal process and gave it to us. We took it to get fixed up and tires and oil change. Well this all happened at at time when my car started leaking oil. So I have a spare to drive and didn't have to drive a farm truck while my car is getting checked out. Funny how things work out. When I went to get his jeep, it was so hard. Way harder than I really thought it'd be. It was like I could feel him, which was super comforting while crazy hard. So I brought it home and parked it in the garage and thought I'm probably not going to drive much til my car is done. Well that's what I get for thinking. The last 2 days I've driven all over the place taking the boys to tractors and to town for various reasons. My mom just cries when she sees me drive his jeep. Oh how I wish I could make this better for her but all I can do is love her and be there for her whenever she needs. So after the second day of driving the jeep I felt dad...
I felt dad when I got in his jeep and his voice was talking to me. He said, "kid, it's just 'stuff' so just drive the piss out of it and enjoy it!". I had to smile because that was him and exactly what he'd say! So being the daddy's girl I am and usually listening to him, I thought ok dad I will drive it. Now when I sit in his seat and think about him driving, it brings a smile to my face and so much peace to my heart. I'm so thankful that mom gave us his jeep. I feel like I have a part of him with me. So I've mentioned he drove junker vehicles...he also didn't keep them clean. So that's an understatement, he used his vehicle. I mean he really used it. Needless to say I haven't gotten around to really cleaning it up. I'm not much on keeping my vehicle all that clean either. What's that saying? The apple doesn't fall far from the tree! But no matter how dirty or unkept his jeep was, he was prepared for anything. I think about him always telling me the 6 P's! That is my next blog...The 6 P's!
So today as I got in the jeep to go to OKC for acupuncture, I was quickly reminded just how much dad was prepared for whatever. About half way there, it started raining and raining hard. I started to panic thinking the windshield wipers probably wouldn't work. I'm not sure why I thought that exactly but that's what I was thinking when I began to turn them on. Much to my surprise they worked like new! I felt like dad was taking care of me, just like he always does! Matter of fact I could totally hear him saying, "Did you really think I didn't have things covered? Where's your faith, kid?". So I laughed and cried all at the same time, thinking about all the wonderful things my dad has done for me. Then I began to think about him telling me in his last month that I had the hard job now and I must always think and be prepared. It was my turn to be "the voice of reason" and it's not an easy thing to be, but it's my turn to step up to the plate. So I will think things through a lot more and work to be more prepared...afterall I've got to make him proud and carry on!
Trinity
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