Milestones...

Gentry with Papa Clovis...2011

Milestones...

Today was like any other day since you've been gone...and just like you said...EVERY DAY IS A TRAINING DAY!  Some days are bright sunshine days and some days are dark and gloomy, and everyday I learn something new!

So many milestones have come and gone...we've celebrated and cried and enjoyed, yet there's always something missing...Papa Clovis!  His lack of presence these last few weeks have been tough, to say the least.

Today was Grandparent's Day at Gentry's school and he had a huge cheering section and I couldn't help but smile even though my eyes wanted to water up and let the tears fall.  I just started thinking about all the things that Gentry will miss knowing about my dad, his Papa.  Then I looked at Trevin and he remembers some but not a lot of him...they ask questions about him all the time, which I love!  However, some days it's all I can do to tell them all about their Papa without just having a complete melt down but most days it makes my heart happy to tell them all about him.  It hurts knowing they won't get to do all the things my dad loved to do with the older boys...I mean it hurts like a stabbing pain that just never goes away.  It's been 4 years and it never gets easier...

The pain that comes with grieving is like a fluid substance that is ever moving.  Some days are more intense than others, some days it is pain like after he first died when it is all you can do to breathe, some days it is just a dull lingering pain.  So that saying that my dad had about how "Nothing stays the same forever" is right on!  So I will take each day as my training day and be thankful for it!  And of course KEEP ON KEEPIN' ON!