This boy turns 8! It's gone by super fast and he's growing into his own. He's taught me so much about life and being a momma almost to the point that I feel like I fail him every day! But life is a journey and I'm learning as I go. His spirit is like none other and his zest, at times makes me crazy, is amazing to watch!
Happy Birthday to my sweet Trevin!
This picture makes my heart happy and a little sad at the same time. My dad would've taken him to camp and fish and shoot and teach him things all little boys should know...but he died before he got to do this. Thankfully his buddy as stepped in and takes the boys to do these things. I think my dad must've asked him to do this but he will never say. I'm just thankful that someone that knew my dad can pass on the stories and teachings that my dad taught him. So it's a happy and sad picture and it seems as time goes on that I have a lot of these!
Trevin was 1 when my dad had a heart attack and the Papa that his older brothers know and remember went away at that time. So Trevin doesn't remember that strong, fun, won't take any s&*!, full of life, always find the positive guy...and that makes me sad. Dad was never the same after that and he didn't get to do all the things he wanted to with Trevin, so I think maybe sometimes I try to make up for that. Disclaimer...I'm sure my boys will be in therapy when they're 30 because of all that I did or didn't do but they'll never question if I love them! So for the next 3 years, we watched my dad try to get a new normal but it was nothing like he was before, all while he was trying to spend time with Trevin. I'm sure he knew he wasn't getting better and he squeezed all he could in! Then after Spring Break in 2012 (Gentry was 6 months old, Trevin was almost 4, Ryler was almost 10, and Garrin almost 13) I stayed with my parents. My mother in law took Trevin and they bonded, she also took care of Garrin and Ryler while Gary was working. I took Gentry with me, I was nursing him, and it was a great gift...babies make the world go round! The big boys never saw Papa again...
I question if I handled it the right way but I handled it how my dad wanted! He didn't want the boys to see him sick and dying...he wanted them to remember him strong and full of life! So I honored what my dad wanted. I have watched the boys struggle each in their own ways and wished that my dad was here to be the voice of reason. So here I am almost 4 years later and the boys are doing great and full of life...missing my dad everyday...growing up a little more and still realizing what's really important in life! And let me tell ya, it ain't stuff! That's a whole other post. So for now I'll keep on keepin on!
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