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| Ryler Wayne Smith |
The other day someone asked me if I worried about my son playing football and my first response was NO. Everything in me says well yes it does but my heart says no. It really made me think about how I view things. And of course I view things with influence from my parents! Do I like to watch football? No! I only watch it when my son is playing and then you can bet I'm the best football momma around and yes that includes wearing my son's button on my team shirt! I choose not to fear or worry about him playing this sport for this reason...my dad used to tell me all the time, "If it's your time kid, it's your time. Only God knows! So just live life. You know we all have close calls everyday, everyday...and people don't make a big deal about those but doing dangerous activity and people will act fearful and worry. You've got to be ready because only God knows when it's your time." Then he'd go on to talk about how we're suppose to live and grow old but only God knows how life will go and we aren't to fear or worry because it's basically all out of our control anyway. So don't waste time and energy on things that might or might not happen. I think of how many different times in my life that he reminded me of this and I'm so thankful that he always took the time to really explain life and never left anything unsaid!
So do I like to watch football? NO WAY! But I watch my son, who loves to play, with peace and joy and he makes me super proud. I pray for his safety but in all honesty I pray for all the boys in my house and their safety because after all boys will be boys! Isn't that what makes boys into men...doing things that are just a little dangerous and pushing the limits? My oldest likes to tell me that he's 10 feet tall and bulletproof and we both smile. My dad used to say that all the time. And then I remind him that no he's not and that I want him to grow up to live life long after I'm gone, so please stay safe!
Raising boys is hard and trying on mommas but oh so worth the outcome of watching boys become men (and I'm just beginning to watch this unfold!). And that reminds me that my dad used to tell me over and over, after having my first son and after having my other 3 sons...he said, "Trin, you only get them for 18 years! Then they'll go off and find their own way in this world and hopefully let you be a part of that but you've only got them for 18 years, so make it count kid!" I miss his wisdom and guidance! I miss him everyday! I reach for my phone to call him every single day! I can feel his presence and I'm thankful but the pain is still so very real that he's not physically here. But you know, only because he taught me this, I will KEEP ON KEEPIN' ON!
Trinity
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