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| Garrin doing my Wal-Mart shopping. |
I'm going on 3 weeks of no driving after foot surgery so all my boys have had the opportunity to shine showing all their abilities. Having to stay off my foot and this entire process is a different post all together, it's been trying to say the least. However, I've learned a lot and I've watched the boys in my house grow. I've learned The Value of...many things but this one in particular stands out. The Value of giving my children the knowledge of how to live life, take care of things and people, and to survive without me is absolutely priceless.
The other day I sent my oldest, Garrin who is almost 13, into the dreaded Wal-Mart with fifty bucks and a very short list. I sat in the car as I watched him walk with confidence and a little bit of 'oh yeah I'm a stud' into the building. I became flooded with many different emotions; proud, happy, thankful, scared. I thought to myself, did I really just send him into the store to get my groceries? What if someone tries to take him or hurt him? Then I calmed down and realized that I've given him all the tools he needs to take care of this or I wouldn't have sent him. When I say tools I mean the knowledge, we've talked about being aware of your surroundings and that yes there are very mean people out in this great big world that wish to harm others. And of course he had his cell phone. My parents would send me into the grocery store when I was his age and that was before cell phones! Ok yes you can stop laughing at the before cell phones. I thought about how times have changed from when I was growing up. I felt so proud and thankful that he was happy to do this for me. I felt happy that my little baby boy was growing into such a responsible young man. Oh and yes a little sad at the same time. Why does time have to go by so fast?
As I sat in the car I remember my dad teaching me many many things about life and taking care of things. When I asked him why do I have to do this or learn about this, his response was, "I will fail at being your parent if I don't teach you how to survive without me because there will come a time when I won't be here. You will have to take care of things on your own and I want to be the one to teach you!" I remember dad telling me that over and over growing up and I began to understand on a completely different level. I mean what could be worse than leaving your child unable to take care of themselves? So I will do just as I was taught and teach my boys how to go on living without me! I think that's one of the best gifts a parent can give a child. Even if it is the hardest thing to do, it's a super important task as a parent.
The Value of...teaching my boys to go on living without me is a priceless gift that I will take pride in doing! It is my job as their parent to teach them, not to be their best friend. I love my boys and I love spending time with them, that's why it's hard to let them go, but it's a must! There is a value of letting go and watching them soar, it's hard to do and I'm just in the beginning phases of letting go. But I will and I will watch and say just look at what I did, I taught them to go on living and how to do it. What better accomplishment can a parent have than that? After all, our children are really on loan from God. They're his and we're just suppose to guide and teach for a short amount of time.
I know my dad would be proud and I know he's watching over us. This journey is hard but he did a great job of preparing me for life without him here and I intend to do the same for my boys. I've been told that we're strict parents and hard on our kids but we're not going to change our parenting style to fit into society. We (Gary & I are on the same page when it comes to how we are raising our boys!) will keep on the path no matter how hard it is because we have strong convictions about raising these boys God has blessed us with. The Value of...teaching, letting go and everything in between...is hard but so worth it! So we will KEEP ON KEEPIN' ON...
Trinity
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