Y2K to 2014

Y2K to 2014

I remember Y2K like it was yesterday.  It wasn't that long ago but much has happened.  Gary & I had been married for about 4 years and we were expecting our first child living in the sweetest little house.  Wow do I miss that house!  We still own it and it was my salon for about 10 years and now it's a rental.  I never thought that I'd miss living in that house but let me explain, it had an amazing feel!  You know the kind of sweetness that comes from things past.  I didn't really appreciate it while living there but I'm thankful that I got to work there for about 10 years.  This is just a little bit of what I think about when I think about Y2K.  I remember living in that sweet place.  I remember how my dad would tell me to enjoy it there and that someday I would miss it!  He was/ is always right!  I remember how the whole computer world was going to crash and the world was coming to an end, so my idea of preparing was to stock up on tampons, pads, ziploc bags, and salt.  What a combination!  I thought if things get really bad in the world I could swap stuff for tampons because women were not going to go back to using rags, not sure why I thought ziploc bags were important and salt, well it has lots of uses.  Life was pretty easy when we lived in that sweet place! 

Now as 2013 is coming to an end for some reason I have thought about Y2K and all that has happened in my life over the last 13 years, as well as our world.  The first thing I think about is that I never in a million years thought that my dad would have died by now…after all he's 10 feet tall and bulletproof! (Read previous post 10 Feet Tall & Bulletproof.)  I didn't think that I'd have 4 boys, live on the farm, quit my job and be loving this life.  I didn't think I'd have to watch my mom's heart break slowly from watching my dad die and then see her broken hearted, yet still pushing forward while she keeps on keepin' on.  I didn't think I'd have to watch my granny feel lost after her first born died.  I'm pretty sure that no matter what age, when a parent loses a child they're never the same!  I didn't think I could love like I love my husband, it's totally amazing!  I didn't think I could love being just a stay at home mom…the best job ever!  These are just a few of the things that I never expected about my life.

What about all the things that have happened in the world…wow there's way too much to mention!  However, the one thing I think about is our technology.  I've explained to my boys how back in the day we didn't have cell phones and when we did it was a big bag phone and the Internet was S L O W… to say the least!  I'm in awe of how much technology has changed our world as I'm typing on my mac book and post this writing to the Internet for the world to read.  I wonder where the technology will be in another 13 years!

So Y2K to 2013 has brought many blessings and few heartaches to which I'm thankful for all of it.  I hope to learn from all of life and embrace the good, the bad, and the ugly.  After all we only get one trip around this great big world, so I'm gonna do my best to make it count!  You know I'm going to KEEP ON KEEPIN' ON!

Trinity

Survival Mode to Living Life

Survival Mode to Living Life

Sometimes, out of nowhere, the wind gets knocked out of you.  That pretty much sums up my November!  There wasn't any one thing in particular but the whole month was just rough.  I miss my dad!  I did just like he told me to do, I got up everyday and gave my best to my boys.  Anything past that was just pure survival mode and I hate that.  It feels like I've been asleep and missed out on life and  I don't like that feeling one bit.  So for December I'm getting back on track.  For whatever reason the holidays this year are rough.  I miss my dad!  

Everyday I miss him and everyday I pick up my phone to call him and every time I see a Jeep I think it's him and everyday I wake up and have to think, did my dad really die?  Everyday my boys talk about their Papa and everyday I say something that reminds me of my dad.  I miss him!  I didn't realize how much this would hurt.  I also didn't realize that I could be this strong and do like my dad told me to do and that makes me smile in amongst the hurt.  

I think I've had my time to be in survival mode and now it's time to get back to living life.  I have this urge to learn and do as much as possible, to teach my boys so many life lessons that it's as if I want to keep myself so busy that I don't feel the pain of missing my dad.  Whatever the reason I'm going to enjoy this phase and do as much as possible.  I will do more than just KEEP ON KEEPIN' ON!

Trinity

She LIVED LIFE EVERYDAY...

She LIVED LIFE EVERYDAY...

Went to a funeral the other day and it's odd how much just going to another one brings back memories from my dad's.  You know the awkward silence and not knowing what to say because it doesn't really matter what you say, the pain is raw.  I've never felt pain like I felt when my dad died.  It fades but it's always there and you will never be the same.  Life goes on and you must live life but sometimes it's easier said than done.  I think that's why my dad kept telling me to "Just keep livin' kid, just live life!"  

As I sat on the pew, surrounded by extended family, I listened to the preacher talk about how this woman was the glue that held the family together.  It gave me chills only because it speaks truth in many ways.  Have you ever noticed how things change when someone dies?  It's like that person kept everyone on even keel and now a new normal must be found.  A new normal, seriously whatever is normal!  Things will never be normal again.  I didn't know or understand how hard it is when someone dies and sometimes I still don't.  Everyone's situation is different and unique and no one could possibly begin to understand another's.  However this can be said about all aspects of life.  No one can feel your joy, excitement, anticipation, happiness.  When I stop and think about that I'm in awe!  It's amazing that we all get to have our own life experiences and how we handle them and walk through this journey of life is all how we want to do it.  You can choose to find the worst in your situation because  I'm sure there are others that have it way worse or you can choose to find the good in the worst of situations and really LIVE LIFE!  

My dad always used to say that you've got to go through tough times to be able to appreciate the good times.  I never really stopped to appreciate things before my dad died but now I do.  None of us are guaranteed tomorrow so I'm trying to make the best of everyday, no matter what the day brings.  We only get to go around this world once and I want it to be said at my funeral that she LIVED LIFE EVERYDAY!  It's funny how my dad is still teaching me life lessons and he's not physically here doing it.  I'm super thankful for the amazing parents that God blessed me with and hope that I can be like them.  And you know….I will KEEP ON KEEPIN' ON!

Trinity