Dad's Journey

What can I say... I can't put into words at this time but here's a brief of what's happening.

July 6, 2009...Clovis had a heart attack while riding his bicycle & thought he had heat stroke, waited to go to convenient care til the next day.  From there he walked out & mom drove him to the hospital where he walked in.  After tests he was medi-fighted to Mercy Heart Hospital.  They had a heart pump in by the time we (Mom, me, & Gary) got there.  They said it's very serious, this wasn't his first heart attack, his body had grown it's own bypass.  Who knows when, my dad hadn't been to see a doctor in almost 30 years.  He stayed on the pump for a few days & then they did open heart surgery.  After surgery they said there was lots of damage and his heart was very large and time would tell if the by pass would work.  He followed protocol just as dr. ordered until he went for his 3 month check up...

Oct. 2009...THE NEWS...Mom & dad went to the appointment.  After a test, they met with the dr.  He said the bypass didn't work.  You need a heart transplant, you need to get on the list asap.  We need to put in a pacemaker/ defibulator.  He said, Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute!  Dr. said this is as good as it's going to get & it'll just progressively get worse.  Dad said, thanks, but no thanks.  From then on he has lived his life his way, as if he didn't already! :) If you know Clovis, you know what I mean.  From there began the journey...to prepare mom & his family what was to come.

So for the past 2 & 1/2 years he's lived life, enjoyed, & prepared us for this journey he's on.  About a month ago I came to see him & realized the seriousness of the situation.  He hadn't been feeling great, had cough and his legs were swelled up.  But he's great a bluffing how he really feels and his attitude is unbelievably positive.  Therefore, I just thought he hit  rough patch.  When I walked in and looked him in the eye...I knew!  The whites of his eyes were yellow!  His eyes told me, this is it, kid.

I've been here everyday and lots of nights since then and so thankful to be able to do so.  I have the absolute best husband ever!!!  My in-laws have been amazing and are taking great care of my boys...Garrin, Ryler, & Trevin.  I've kept Gentry with me and he's been the saving grace for my mom & dad.  This is the hardest journey I've ever been on and I'll never be the same after this is over.  This is one of those things that you can't go around, over, under, skip, or bluff your way through...you just have to walk straight through with grace.

We are respecting his wishes and keeping him at home & enjoying this journey with him.  He finally let me call hospice last week to get something for the pain.  But he made me promise the only thing they were going to do was help with the pain...he's requested no visitors or phone calls...and we have honored all of his wishes and will continue to do so.  I just wanted to explain a little about what's happening, but I feel I will really write this out in detail as my therapy.  But for now,  we are honoring his wishes and thanks to everyone for the prayers, calls, & texts and for understanding his wishes.

Trinity