Mean Girls

           Now when I say "Mean Girls" I think of many different things.  First,  I think I'm thankful I don't have any daughters.  Girls can be so mean.  Don't get me wrong, I'd love to have a daughter but God has blessed me with 4 amazing boys, for now!  Second, I think about how mean us girls can be sometimes intentional and sometimes not.  I used to think that when I grew up girls wouldn't be so mean, don't you hate it when you're wrong? Oh well!  I often wonder if we as women (girls) have always been mean to one another.  Third,  I think how mean we are to ourselves!  That's right we are mean to ourselves in so many ways.  Why do we question everything we do?  From the little things to the big things, we are our own worst critic. 
            All this being said, here's what I've learned over the last few months.  I've gone from working outside the home more than 40 hours a week to a stay at home mom working more than 40 hours a week.  When I was working outside the home I felt guilty for being away from my family.  I felt like I wasn't taking care of my kiddos or any domesticated duties.  Yes I said domesticated!  My laundry was out of control and we never ate a home cooked meal or even together as a family.  The chaos had taken a toll on my family as well as my extended family, they were the ones helping fill in everywhere I wasn't.  Sometimes the self inflected guilt would push me to the break down point (crying).  Then I would question how I was doing everything and wonder why.  Why does life have to be so hard?  Why can't I just be content?  Why don't I change things if I'm not happy?  Well you can only imagine all the many answers that went through my mind!
             So last spring I was given the opportunity to CHANGE my path.  I took it and ran.  Let me just say it's been the best and hardest thing ever, not just for me but for my family.  I've never taken the time to pay attention to what my kids really need.  By this I'm talking about their emotional needs as well as their hunger for great food (did I mention I have 4 boys & a husband).  I have realized they (my boys) just need me and not all the 'stuff' I was working to provide that I thought they needed.  This is what I like to call jumping off the rat wheel!  That is where we keep doing the same thing, because society tells us to, only to expect different results.  I could write an entire blog about that rat wheel...maybe I will.  
              Now I'm not saying that I don't think about going back to work outside the home, because I think about all the things I could do.  But I just keep reminding myself that just because you can doesn't mean you should!  This applies to many areas of my life.  I want other women (girls) to realize that we are our own worst enemy.  So let's stop the madness and start encouraging each other in whatever path our lives are taking! 
              So for now my path is at home and I'm loving it.  I always thought once the boys got to be school age that they wouldn't need me much.  Wow was I wrong!  If anything they need you more, whether or not they'd admit it.  Even though I still question what I'm doing and if I'm doing what I'm suppose to be doing, I'm thankful to have this time with my kiddos.  Life seems to go by all too fast so I'm going to hold on tight and enjoy this awesome ride!  Oh and try not to be a mean girl too!