Life on the farm

Life on the farm....
     Well all I can say is that life on the farm is awesome for so many reasons.  I love that my boys grow up in the outdoors & around animals, with plenty of room to explore & just be boys!  I've usually got a few stories to tell about my boys, lol, ok a lot of stories.  However, this one makes me very proud of them and also reassuring to me that we are doing what we're suppose to be doing with a house full of boys.  My boys are approaching manhood quicker than I'd like to think and this story shows it.
     Monday we woke up to lots of snow & no school.  I wouldn't say it was a snow storm but in the country it was definitely snow!  So we decided to get about mid morning to go play in the snow with some friends.  They've got a great place with a few trees & wind block.  We're up on a hill with very few trees and not much wind block...the wind was blowing that day.  As if it doesn't blow in western Oklahoma? Ha!  Anyway, we make it out our drive and to the road when I realize, no way can we make it the 1/2 mile on the east/west gravel road to the north/south paved road.  Now for those of you who don't know much about country life, the wind usually (notice I said usually, not always) blows out of the north or out of the south.  So the wind blew snow into tall drifts on the east/west road.  So I've got 4 boys loaded up with our snow gear on & no where to go!  So we decide to drive trough the pasture past the really deep drifts....yes we made it out without any problems!  This was my oldest son's idea and yes I listen to their ideas, sometimes they have really great ones.  So off we went to play in the snow.  We had a successful day and by 2pm in the afternoon my 3 year old was past ready to go home.  The snow began to melt with the raising temps and now most of the snow was just wet.  So back home, on that east/west road, I thought I bet we can make it through the drifts still across the road.  After all we're not that far and we could walk if we have to.  So I put my Expedition is 4wheel drive high and give it hell (that's a clovis-ism).  And what do you know...I got stuck!  So my boys walk up the hill to the house to get the RTV, shovel, & chains.  Yes they thought of those on their own, I was just thinking come get me & my 4 month old baby & my 3 year old.  So the big boys at the age of 11 & 8 know how to hook up my car to the RTV with a chain & how much snow to shovel around the tires to pull me out.  Yes, they worked together & pulled me out.  Wow!  I'm just in awe of my little offspring taking care of me.  I'm trying to enjoy it while it lasts...afterall they're going to get married someday & have their own families to take care of.  And that's as it should be, so I'm going to enjoy all these moments while I can!  So they get the chain off & we go back through the pasture & make it home just fine.  All while I'm thinking just how lucky I am!  Thank you God for giving me these amazing, wonderful, strong, loving, inquisitive, smart, & resourceful young men.  I hope I can bless them as much as they've blessed me.
     Farm life isn't for the weak.  But it's an awesome and amazing way of life.  I've never lived on the farm til my husband said about 10 years ago I want to raise our kids on the farm.  At that time we only had 1 child.  I thought sure why not.  With some hesitation we moved & all I can say is it's an adventure.  An unbelievable adventure that I'm so glad I get to be apart of.

Facebook Parenting: For the troubled teen.

I love this!!! We parents need to make a stand & this guy did! Way to go dad! Here's my take on parenting, nobody said this was going to be easy & fun all of the time! This is the hardest job ever but the most rewarding. However, to get to the rewarding part is not easy. My dad always says the only easy day was yesterday! I believe that and remind myself of that often. Why do we as parents let our kids get away with so much more than our parents did? Because it's easier and we're busy. Because we have "better things to do"...seriously what better things to do than...

#1 sustain life to another person (baby phase)

What could be more pressing than this? This little person loves you no matter what & needs you, that's an awesome feeling!

#2 teach the little person how to talk, walk, eat by himself (toddler/ preschool phase)

Wow, we get to teach them how to take care of themselves all while they look up to us & want to be just like us! Can I just say AWESOME! Yes this time of life everything takes twice as long to accomplish but really it's so worth it. I will want this time back when they're teenagers acting out!

#3 form their morals & shape who they'll become (school age phase)

That's an amazing thought in itself, that we as their parents form who they'll be when they grow up & leave home to go out into this great big world. This great big world that we should be preparing them for instead of sheltering them from it. Preparing for all the good is fun but preparing them for the bad is hard to do.

I'm speaking from experience for the #1-3, my children are 11,8,3, & 4 months. The rest is what I'm hearing from my friends with older children & of course my parents! Just so you know where I'm at on this great journey!

#4 train them for their own life (older school age phase)

So by this point they don't like us parents, as if you liked your parents when you were this age. If we cave to them now, their lives could forever go down a wrong path that we can't get them off of. The way the world is now, one wrong turn down the road of life and it could change them forever. If we choose not to take a stand and teach our children the hard lessons of life (drugs, sex, rape, abuse, just to name a few) then we have done them an injustice and we should be to blame. Not to say that some will do all the right things & their children will still take the wrong path, but that doesn't mean we stop trying! Because as parents we must love our children ALWAYS...just as God loves us.

#5 watch them stretch their wings & fly (leaving home phase)

This is where we get to see all that work pay off in so many ways. This is when we reconnect with our spouse and remember how hard things were but how amazing they are now.

#6 take part in raising your grandchildren (the next generation)

My parents say that having grand children is way better than having children! I'm sure it is. How great is it to be involved with your children's children! To be able to see all that hard work pay off in their offspring. Life comes full circle.

That's just a few quick thoughts this video made me think! None of us have all the answers but if we'd work together maybe just maybe the American family will survive & thrive.

This is my number one thing I hope to teach my children, that they can talk to me about anything! I'm open with them about everything & man is that harder than I ever thought! But I want them to make decisions in life with as much knowledge as possible. They won't be able to say but I didn't know any better, because I constantly tell them & talk with them about all kinds of things. Just watch the news & let them ask whatever they want & be open with them....try explaining prostitution to an 11 & 8 year old boys!!! Or the whole Penn State scandal. That was hard but worth being honest. Now back to this dad, I say way to go! Let me teach my children to be respectful, thoughtful, hardworking, & to always trust God!

Life lessons

           I took this picture one morning on our way to school.  This makes me think about many things about life. My first thought is how much I love that my boys work together.  I really love how my oldest is always willing to teach or help his younger brothers.  My second son looks up to his big brother in many ways.  He often gets frustrated because his older brother is telling him what to do or how to do.  Then I think he's got me and my husband (dad) and his big brother telling him what to do and how to do it.  I realize how hard it is for me to let go from a mom's perspective and sometimes don't realize how hard it is to let go from the big brother perspective.  We've instilled in our oldest that he's the role model to his younger brothers and that he needs to help and lead by example.  I wouldn't change that but sometimes I think that's an awful lot of responsibility on such a young man.  He seems to handle it well and thrives on taking charge.  That being said I really enjoy watching them work together whether it's on the farm, schoolwork, or pumping gas.  My second thought when looking at this picture is how many things I want to teach them about life.  My goal as their parent is to teach them to be self sufficient productive citizens of society.  I believe this process, and yes it's a process over many years, starts early in life.  I'm working on my list of things to teach my children.  After all I won't be here forever to teach them or guide them in the right direction.  What's the story about the season's of life...a season to be born, to live, to reproduce, to die.  We have to accept the season's as they come and embrace them as they change.  Because after all change will happen....Nothing stays the same forever!  With that thought I want to enjoy, embrace, love every stage of this life & raising my house full of testosterone filled boys!  My third thought is wow how time flies!  It really does seem like yesterday they were just born.  I remember as a young kid, older people saying how fast time flies, now I see.  Can I just say how much I wish I'd pay attention!  Well as my dad always says, "The only easy day was yesterday"!  So with that thought I try to wake up each morning with the I'm ready to kick a$$ attitude.  Hopefully you can find your attitude!

Mean Girls

           Now when I say "Mean Girls" I think of many different things.  First,  I think I'm thankful I don't have any daughters.  Girls can be so mean.  Don't get me wrong, I'd love to have a daughter but God has blessed me with 4 amazing boys, for now!  Second, I think about how mean us girls can be sometimes intentional and sometimes not.  I used to think that when I grew up girls wouldn't be so mean, don't you hate it when you're wrong? Oh well!  I often wonder if we as women (girls) have always been mean to one another.  Third,  I think how mean we are to ourselves!  That's right we are mean to ourselves in so many ways.  Why do we question everything we do?  From the little things to the big things, we are our own worst critic. 
            All this being said, here's what I've learned over the last few months.  I've gone from working outside the home more than 40 hours a week to a stay at home mom working more than 40 hours a week.  When I was working outside the home I felt guilty for being away from my family.  I felt like I wasn't taking care of my kiddos or any domesticated duties.  Yes I said domesticated!  My laundry was out of control and we never ate a home cooked meal or even together as a family.  The chaos had taken a toll on my family as well as my extended family, they were the ones helping fill in everywhere I wasn't.  Sometimes the self inflected guilt would push me to the break down point (crying).  Then I would question how I was doing everything and wonder why.  Why does life have to be so hard?  Why can't I just be content?  Why don't I change things if I'm not happy?  Well you can only imagine all the many answers that went through my mind!
             So last spring I was given the opportunity to CHANGE my path.  I took it and ran.  Let me just say it's been the best and hardest thing ever, not just for me but for my family.  I've never taken the time to pay attention to what my kids really need.  By this I'm talking about their emotional needs as well as their hunger for great food (did I mention I have 4 boys & a husband).  I have realized they (my boys) just need me and not all the 'stuff' I was working to provide that I thought they needed.  This is what I like to call jumping off the rat wheel!  That is where we keep doing the same thing, because society tells us to, only to expect different results.  I could write an entire blog about that rat wheel...maybe I will.  
              Now I'm not saying that I don't think about going back to work outside the home, because I think about all the things I could do.  But I just keep reminding myself that just because you can doesn't mean you should!  This applies to many areas of my life.  I want other women (girls) to realize that we are our own worst enemy.  So let's stop the madness and start encouraging each other in whatever path our lives are taking! 
              So for now my path is at home and I'm loving it.  I always thought once the boys got to be school age that they wouldn't need me much.  Wow was I wrong!  If anything they need you more, whether or not they'd admit it.  Even though I still question what I'm doing and if I'm doing what I'm suppose to be doing, I'm thankful to have this time with my kiddos.  Life seems to go by all too fast so I'm going to hold on tight and enjoy this awesome ride!  Oh and try not to be a mean girl too!