Don't Lose It...
My dad always pounded this in my head...Don't Lose It! He'd tell me over and over just how important it is not to lose it when the pressure is on or in stressful situations. He used to tell me to hold it together, apparently I'm a little over dramatic! He explained how you must keep it together while the pressure is on or until the stressful situation ceases, then you can lose it. You can lose it however you need to as long as you hold it together while in the midst of it. I feel like I'm pretty good at this, especially after holding it together while he was in the process of dying. He didn't want any crying around, so I didn't...at least not in front of him! It's been almost 4 years and sometimes I lose it just thinking about those last weeks, but I think it's ok because I held it together like he had instructed me to do.
Last week I had to put this advice into play. My youngest of 4 boys, Gentry, had apparently stuck something up his nose at some point in time. We had gone to dr. the week before and he wanted to do a round of antibiotics then see us the next week. So we went in for the follow up and I figured that we'd have to hold him down to dig out whatever he had up his nose...however I was wrong. It was too far up to dig it out! Now we have to go to an ear, nose, and throat dr. So I was thinking it'd be another week or so before we'd get an appointment. I left the dr. office ready to take Gentry to school and get busy feeding the cattle. I had a written out list from my oldest son, who could totally run the farming operation if it weren't for having to go to school and be a kid! Just as I was ready to get Gentry out of the pickup, my phone rings. It was the dr. office telling me to get to the hospital now! They wanted to get Gentry in TODAY! I thought, great, we will get this taken care of quickly. At this point I wasn't even thinking about not losing it...
So we get to the hospital and wait for the dr to come out of surgery to look at Gentry. He was a trooper, not scared one bit. The nurses were amazing and had plenty of toys for him to pick from! We were sitting in a little recovery room waiting and all of a sudden my chest gets tight and I feel like I'm going to break out in a cold sweat. All I wanted to do was go into pure panic with full blown crying to add...but instead I said a prayer. I asked God to help me and give me peace then I called my hubby. He was out of town working and couldn't be there but was great at listening to me on the phone and keeping me calm, the numerous times I called him! Then my mother in law called to see if I needed anything...Oh my, yes! I hadn't eaten much for breakfast and now it was close to noon, I needed something to drink and eat. The dr came in and said he couldn't get it without sedation, meaning that they'd put Gentry under...now at this point I had to push the panic way back and keep it together. So I begin to get Gentry in his hospital gown as he's playing with the great Star Wars light saber the nurse got him. Grandma shows up and sits with us for a little bit and then they take him back. He was awesome! He wasn't scared and showed no fear! So off to the waiting room we went and Grandma brought me in some lunch. I didn't even get half my lunch eaten when the dr comes out with the ROCK...YES A ROCK! My sweet Gentry had stuck a ROCK up his nose and I have no idea when he did it. So we head back to recovery and within 30 minutes we were out of there. Gentry woke up fine and happy and can breathe much better now!
I went home and just pretty much collapsed...slept a little bit and woke up feeling like I had survived...Gentry was playing and I had survived! Life with 4 boys ain't easy to say the least. I think my dad would be proud that I didn't lose it and took care of the situation...I'm still trying to grasp it all but I think I'll be doing that for many years to come with this house full of boys. My motto these days is, "There's never a dull moment!"
