It's been a little over a year since my hero moved on from this earth to his next journey. I don't feel much different than I did a year ago, I still pick up the phone to call my dad only to realize that I can't! I still think I hear him coming in the drive and honestly I keep thinking he's gone on a job and will be home soon. Then I stop and think and realize nope, he's not coming back. And my breath is taken away all over again. The pain floods my body and tears start to well up and then the boys bring me back to reality and I pull myself together. And the few things that keep me going in the right direction are my faith and remembering that my dad told me to keep on living.
Watching my dad die brings a new perspective to life. I never have been one that cared too much about what others are doing or what others have, I pretty much march to the beat of my own drum. But after watching his journey on earth end, I really don't care what others think, do, or have and I'm even more outspoken than before! I realize that life's circumstances affect everyone in many ways and I have gained a new understanding for how others deal with their circumstances. I am definitely a Live and Let Live kind of girl. It's hard to imagine how life's circumstances will change you or how you will handle whatever comes your way but I've learned there's one certain in life and that is CHANGE! Things will always change, always.
This has been a year of firsts without my dad but then when you really stop and think about things, isn't everyday a day of firsts? There will never be another today, so I firmly believe that we should all live everyday to the fullest. Now I don't get all worked up over the things that I used to, now don't get me wrong, I'm still very passionate about many many things. However, I do try to embrace what I can and go with the flow more than I ever have and I'm thankful to learn this and to keep learning! Life's hard and most certainly not fair (that's something my dad taught me!) but it's the most amazing ride and even better if you'll stop and enjoy the in's and out's of everyday life. At times I find myself cranky about little things and I can hear and feel my dad saying, "Enjoy it, kid! It won't last forever so make the most of it right now!" He told me that many many times and I'd understand for just a little while but now it really sticks and I'm so thankful for these life lessons!
I will never forget my dad telling me to "keep on living, kid, keep on living!" He told me that the day I went to check on him and realized his eyes were yellow and that he was coming near the end of his journey here. I look back on those words and I'm so thankful that he had the strength to give me that gift! So I will "KEEP ON KEEPIN' ON!"
Trinity
